Of course, if someone knows that they only really enjoy one aspect of penetration, then let’s not discount that. But as with everything sexual, these things are usually on a spectrum that is often contextual. “It can change depending on where you are in your life, how old you are, how fit you're feeling, and what you're in the mood for,” White says. “If you think about people's everyday behaviors, I don't know if there's a difference between someone who acts or comes across as more masculine and the role that they play in sex. We like to pretend that there are, but they're not necessarily true.” Moral of the story: You've always been living in the year of the twink because twinks have never not been a thing.

Dr. Chris White, an expert in health promotion and the director and principal investigator of the Safe and Supportive Schools Project at the Gay-Straight Alliance Network in San Francisco, takes this one step further. “If you're a bottom, you’re sometimes seen as a slut,” he says. “You don't ever hear tops being called sluts, just bottoms. So there's some shaming there. And it's feminine type shaming, as well. Not only are you saying that it's more masculine to be a top, but you're saying that you should be ashamed to be a bottom.”verifyErrors }}{{ message }}{{ /verifyErrors }}{{ BuzzFeed Tasty Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! The ongoing fetishization of masculinity means that the traditionally submissive role of the bottom is associated with effeminacy. “With bottoming there is the perception that you're giving up your masculinity because receiving a penis is something that women do,” Miller adds.

BuzzFeed Bring Me Obsessed with travel? Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! Legend would have you believe that once you’ve earned your gay card, a Harry Potter–like ceremony occurs where, instead of the Sorting Hat, a giant magical butt plug divides all gay men into two houses: tops or bottoms. This is clearly not the case, especially for those people who consider themselves versatile ( HIYA). But often, penetrative sex can feel divided into rigid binaries that make being a top or a bottom seem like a cult you’ve signed up to for life, and one that you have to declare as soon as two (or more) consenting men decide to take their clothes off and rub up against each other. These two subdivisions have their own rules, stereotypes, and in-jokes, and can sometimes seem as if they’re at war with each other, rather than both working together for mutual sexual pleasure.